Conversation with Malcolm tonight

M: daddy! What’s happening to my tattoos?
D: they’re rubbing off, like they do.
M: but I don’t want them to rub off!
D: well, that’s what they do.
M: but I don’t want them to rub off!
D: but that’s what they do. So here are your choices: understand that tattoos rub off, or stop putting tattoos on. Which do you choose?
M: I choose to have GROWN UP TATTOOS! They don’t rub off!
D: Hmm… Well you can have grown up tattoos when you’re…guess how old.
M: when I’m 4!
D: nope. Let me tell you: {counts slowly to 18}
M: I’m 18 right now.
D: can you drive? Have you graduated from high school? Do you even know what I’m talking about? Do you know who John Hughes is?
M: What did you just say?
D: you can have a real tattoo when you’re 18.
M: when I’m 18 I’m just going to have kid tattoos.