Author: Invader Zom

Looney Tunes

Ok, you have to watch old Looney Tunes cartoons with your kids. Ian: “Sometimes when people don’t want their money they bury it. But we wouldn’t do that because we want to be rich! But…

Raise your hand

I hear whispered from the kids’ bedroom: “Ian, what are you doing?” mumbling “Ian, what are you doing?” rustling, mumbling. I shout “Are you guys in bed?” Hear rustling, then silence. Very sternly, “whoever’s in…

Mercury in Retrograde

I swear to god, the fact that Mercury appears to change direction for a bit in the night sky means exactly one thing: Jesus is having second thoughts. Nothing else! You superstitious people have been…

Sing to yourself, dad

Singing along to the radio on the way to school this morning, Ian tells me, “dad! Can you please stop singing?” Dad: “But I like singing!” Ian: “Well, you can sing when you’re all by…

School paperwork daze

Tucked away in the usual packet of permission slips to allow the school to take care of my child’s basic needs that was sent home with him today: Consent to release of information: Consent is…

First day of school!

“Did you take pictures of me at school? Haha… that’s me when I was confused!” First day of school half achieved. Malcolm refused to let me take pictures of him, so had to do it…

Strike is over!

Yaaaaaaaaaaay! But I sure hope Malcolm is healthy by Thursday. Both of my boys start school then. I’m going to cry. No I’m not. Yes I am.

I hate it when my kids are sick

Had to stay home with the kids today. Malcolm’s low-grade sick frown emoticon. The fuzzy line where my kids start and I end completely loses all definition when they’re sick.

Seattle’s Mystery Soda Machine

My 8 year old’s big plans for this past weekend: “Can we go to the Mystery Soda Machine? You really don’t know what’s going to come out and then you have to drink it no matter what…

It’s a leprechaun trap

In case you haven’t learned to read kindergartener yet, this is a leprechaun trap. It says, “here leprechauns.” I guess leprechauns are easy to fool.