Author: Invader Zom

Dangerous awesome toys

Malcolm: “Why’s Ian crying?” Dad: shrugs. “I don’t know.” I did know. Ian: wailing now. “Because I really want an axe!” Mal: “Why would you want an axe?” Ian: “Because I just need to chop…

Voice search

There’s a special kind of funny that comes from listening to my kids use YouTube’s voice search on their iPads. “I want to watch real life minecraft pranks that *I* want to watch.”

Cocoon

One of my favorite little games Ian likes to play is “cocoon” where he’s a little helpless caterpillar in a cocoon. He moves over to me with his blanket pulled up over him and tells…

Never use your birth year as your password

Malcolm: what’s the password for your phone? Dad: just like yours. The year I was born, 1971. Mal: wow! You’re super old! I suspect that kids born after 2000 are going to look at the…

If you happy and you know it cwap you hands

If you happy and you know it cwap you hands

Ian was walking around his bedroom this morning holding a big, black spider halloween decoration – the kind with wiry legs so you can pose it or wrap it around something. He had one of its…

Conversation with Malcolm tonight

M: daddy! What’s happening to my tattoos? D: they’re rubbing off, like they do. M: but I don’t want them to rub off! D: well, that’s what they do. M: but I don’t want them…

It was no fun

Malcolm had a terrible spill on his bike today. I warned him about the upcoming hill, I cautioned him on how to slow down if he got going too fast. When he lost control I…

I just don’t know what to say

I watched Malcolm walk up to a man reading to his daughter in the play area at Vios tonight, looking over his shoulder to see the book too. The man turned to Malcolm like, “hey…

IAM IAN

Welcome Malcolm’s little brother, Ian Shaw Johnston, to the world! Time of birth: 6:20 am, July 22, 2010.