Dangerous awesome toys

Malcolm: “Why’s Ian crying?”
Dad: shrugs. “I don’t know.” I did know.
Ian: wailing now. “Because I really want an axe!”
Mal: “Why would you want an axe?”
Ian: “Because I just need to chop wood and I can’t use the forks!” (I had previously taken some dinner forks away from him as he was headed outside to chop wood with them.)

I actually would really like to have an axe. For no reason. I just like axes. There’s a part of me that’s all, “hell yeah, I had an axe when I was 5. It was awesome.” And then the other part of me is like, “yeah, but kids shouldn’t have axes.”