Today was an early release day for Seattle Public Schools. I had to go get the kids at 1:40 PM. I got there a little early and was waiting around with a bunch of other parents. I’ve done this dozens of times, but this time I walked by half a dozen doors that were locked and labeled with notices, “For security reasons, entry through this door is prohibited. Please enter through the main door near the office.”
I watched all the kids coming out and saw all of the other parents waiting, arms folded, smiling and saying hi to the kids they recognized and/or their parents.
I was reminded of the day I stood in the same spot, with the same parents, the same laughing and running and goofy kids the day of the Sandy Hook elementary … well, that day.
I still can’t handle that day emotionally. I crumbled and stopped reading the news. I stopped all internal analysis of those events. I ran. I left work without a word and ran to school.
I waited with all the other parents with pained, wordless, horror and plaintive stares on their faces. When Malcolm came through the door that day, I ran and grabbed him up into my arms and didn’t let go. He was wrapped around me until he couldn’t stand it anymore.
Today was “Wacky Wednesday.” Yesterday was “Hat Day.” Monday was “Sports Day.” All the kids were absolutely adorable and amazingly wacky. I wish Wacky Wednesday was a weekly thing.
Tomorrow is Pajama Day. They excitedly went to bed in the pajamas they want to wear to school tomorrow. Of course they are skulls and bones and skeletons jammies. Perfect for Halloween. It’s been a fun week.
Not at all ruined by my emotional reminder of something that absolutely destroyed me for a very long time not quite yet three years ago.